Don't force me to say goodbye

I hate time. Hate it when it moves too slowly and hate it even more when it moves too fast. When so much time has passed and I feel like I haven't have the time do anything or there are still so many things I want to do. When I only have certain amount time to be somewhere and suddenly I realise that that time is almost over. Please time, can you just slow down a bit and let me be here longer?

Another month has already passed and time is slipping through my fingers. What have I done here? Have I done enough? And what is enough? Okay I don't HAVE to do anything but the thing is... Well.. When you travel to another country, you automatically assume that you have to do many things, see everything, experience everything. Because that is why you went to the other country, right? To do everything? And the further away the country is, the more pressure is there to do things. Because how many times you have the chance to go there again? Almost no chance at all, so you have to use your time smartly and experience as many things as possible. But I guess all you have to do is be. Be there and have no regrets. Say yes to every suggestion. Say yes even though it feels scary. Say yes. When I'm gray and old, I rather regret things that I have done than say "I wish I did that".

So October. Didn't really do that many things in October because I didn't have any more places here that I only want to spend the weekend in.
On the second week of October I had to go renew my VISA. Before I even came to Costa Rica, I decided that I want to go to Panama to do that. To Bocas del Toro, to be exact. And all I can say is that I am so freaking happy I went there.
I took a public buss from San José to Puerto Viejo (and there ate at Bread&Chocolate again, oopsie) then shuttle buss to Bocas. In order to get to Panama I had to cross a bridge in Sixaola. Everything was easy and went smoothly. The only thing that was stupid is that when I left Costa Rica I had to pay 15$ and to come to Panama 4$. So what happens if I don't pay? I can't leave the country and end up in jail or something? Well whatever, take my money if you need it.
In the shuttle buss I met people who ended up going even to the same hostel I did (hostel Selina). So even though I went to do this thing alone, I wasn't alone anymore (I truly love traveling because of this). On that (Thursday) night we went dancing and decided to see next day what we are going to to.
So on Friday we decided to do Zapatilla tour which was awesome! The weather was perfect and the tour too. Took a small boat to Zapatilla, tanning, snorkeling, swimming etc. Ate amazing food and did WAKE BOARDING! Wake boarding was so freaking awesome. I've never done it before and I was able to stand on the board for so long. That day, on that tour, I had so much fun <3
On Saturday we decided to go to Bibi's (bar/restaurant) because there was a happy hour from 4 to 7. That really was happy hah. Well in the end for me it wasn't that funny..okay it was fun. So the thing is we played credit card suffle. Each round of drinks the waiter picked randomly one credit card and the one he picked had to pay that round. And because I am so not lucky, I had to pay two rounds when others payed only one.
Sunday morning I had to head back to San José.
I met so many new awesome people in Bocas and if I'd write all the little things that happened this post would be way too long. So all I can say about Bocas now is thank you for giving me such an awesome time.

Rest of the October I didn't really do anything. Yeah I went out couple of times but it was just normal going out thing.. Okay haha so last Saturday I went alone to amusement park here in San José. After I was alone there for about two hours, some boy came to me and asked if I am alone. Then he asked if I want to join him and his friend. Soooo I ended up hanging out with 16-17 year old school boys (I think they had school trip there on Saturday). But it was fun! Because it was halloween weekend, the park had these zombie things (I have no idea how to explain it better) and last hour before the park closed, there was a concert. Apparently the band is famous here in Costa Rica but I don't remember their name.

So that was my October. And here we are, already in November. And I don't like it. Not at all. I only have two weeks left to work in my orphanage. Two weeks. After two weeks I have to say goodbye to all the kids. To all the perfect beautiful kids that stole my heart. I don't want to do that. I don't want to say goodbye. So please don't force me to say goodbye. Okay? Please? I don't want to look them into their eyes and say bye. To never see them again. To leave and having to worry what will happen to them. Will anyone adopt them. Where will they be in a year or in ten years. So please don't make me say goodbye. Let me stay here for a year or two year. Please?
After two weeks I will start my five week traveling but don't know yet where I'll go first. All I know that in two weeks I will cry.
I will cry, stand up again and start a new chapter in my Costa Rica life. So see you in two weeks when I write about how my heart is broken after leaving the orphanage.